I'm a homeschooling mom of 2 great kids. I've been married to my wonderful husband since 1997. I love to crochet, knit, and digi scrap. So, you never know what I might post about!
Saturday, March 27, 2004 You are Mohair.
You are a warm and fuzzy type who works well with others, doing your share without being too weighty. You can be stubborn and absolutely refuse to change your position once it is set, but that's okay since you are good at covering up your mistakes.
Friday, March 26, 2004
Ok, so my grandmother died the last of May and my grandfather's getting remarried tomorrow. I found out about these plans in January, but I think some of my family members may have known about it before I did. So, after being married to the love of his life, having known her since they were 12, never even having had another girlfriend, having 3 kids with her, taking care of her in her old age when she got Alzheimer's, dressing her and doing her makeup for her every day after she was no longer able to do it herself, living with her 'till she died at 73 years old, he found a new wife within 6 months. I'm sorry, but I just don't understand that. He isn't ill, doesn't need anyone to physically look after him, though I can admit that emotionally, a man who has always been married to a housewife would want a woman around. But he can obviously take care of himself and the house. He did it for years when Grandma was sick. My grandpa is the sweetest, gentlest man I know, except maybe for my other grandpa. I don't want it to sound like he was always bossing Grandma around all her life and now is some helpless old man who needs a woman to go get him another drink. That's why this is so strange to me. He's fully self-sufficient. I can't imagine him with anyone else. I just thought that if you love someone that much, you wouldn't want to marry anyone else, especially if you're 75 years old. All of his children still live in the area and my mom has always been there to help them with anything they ever needed. When Grandma died, I figured he'd mourn her for a while and then spend the next 20 years being the merry widower, doing his woodworking projects and his Christian (house) Building Project. Ok, and I just found out that it's posted on the web on their church website. And also on that site, on the Preschool page, she's already listed as a teacher with my grandpa's last name. There's no date on the page to say when it was updated, but I'm presuming it was before today. I know it doesn't matter, but it still makes me mad. I haven't met her yet, but she's got the same name as my wicked step-mother, so that doesn't help at all. Anyway, this woman goes to church with Grandpa...a lady at church introduced them. I don't know when they started seeing each other, or even when they met, but she's moving into his house because he owns his (and has for many years) and she doesn't own hers. She's 15 years younger than him, which I guess means she'll be around to take care of him when he starts declining and he won't have to take care of her like he did Grandma. She has 3 grown kids, just like he does, so now my mom's family will be like an elderly version of The Brady Bunch. Luckily they don't all have to live together. LOL Anyway, she divorced 8 years ago and her ex-husband is now deceased. So, it's not like the Bible says they can't marry. Her vow to her husband has been fulfilled, thought Paul does tell older widows not to remarry, but I don't see that as a command. But I do question the integrity of a woman who was divorced at age 48. Now, I don't know the circumstance of her divorce or of her marriage, but I just don't like this situation. I'm trying very hard not to judge her since I haven't even met her yet, but it's very hard. I pray about it often. Of course I want my grandpa to be happy, I'm just having a hard time understanding how this can make him happy. In January (6 months after Grandma died) my mom, who hasn't finished mourning her mom, had to go over and help her dad clear out all of Grandma's stuff from their house (which my mom and uncles grew up in. Grandma and Grandpa have lived in that house for 50 years.) so that this woman can move in. So then Mom had all of Grandma's stuff all over her dining table and had to go through it herself. I don't know why Grandpa didn't help her go through the papers. I called her while she was in the middle of sorting and she was telling me that she didn't know what to do with any of that stuff. Grandma & Grandpa's marriage license, Grandma's report cards, letters, just all kinds of stuff. I know it was a very unpleasant job, and on top of that, knowing that the reason she has to do this now and not later when she'll be able to handle it better is that he's getting remarried. It just blows my mind. This is not the kind of thing that happens in my family. I'm not saying people don't get remarried in my family because they do, after divorce, and given some time to grieve the relationship, but that my family is very conservative, especially Grandpa. He's been a deacon in the Baptist church for as long as I can remember. This just doesn't fit my image of him, I guess. And I'm really missing Grandma. I saw the wedding announcement in the paper with a picture of the two of them and it was so weird seeing my grandpa's arm around a strange woman. My grandma was a very gentle, loving, quiet woman, and this woman doesn't look like any of those things. Again, I'm trying to withhold judgment until after I meet her, but it sure is hard. My sister went down for the wedding, so maybe I'll get some info from her. I'm sure she'll take pictures, so I'll want to see those. I just can't bring myself to go. Maybe that's not Christ-like, but I can't help it. At least my sister will be there for Mom. Mom told me I didn't have to go if I don't want to. And I can use B as an excuse again. He had a clinical 'till 10 tonight, has one from 8-5 tomorrow (the wedding is at 2pm, 3-4 hours from here), and has to work Sunday. My other grandma thinks it's great that he's found someone. She's about his age and was a widow who remarried (but she was a young mom when she was widowed and she didn't get remarried 'till 8 years after my grandfather died), so maybe she understands it better than I can. She said something about people that say it's too soon after she died are just wrong, that that has nothing to do with it. I didn't say anything when she said that, so I think she knows how I feel about it. Well, I guess I've said about all I can say about this. I'll probably call Mom tomorrow or Sunday and see how she's doing. I don't know how she's feeling about all of this now and she might need some support. Therefore I'm not sure if I should call before the wedding tomorrow or if that would just get her upset. Maybe I should wait 'till tomorrow evening. Anyway, I need to go think about something else for a while. If you've made it this far, thanks for listening.
11:24 PM
